I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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