Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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