"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
