please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
