im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He has the fingertips of a God
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