The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
