3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
