if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
