I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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