you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
