I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
