What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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