i barfeds in our rink
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
This house was built for laser tag.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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