everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
