Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
