East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
