I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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