kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
