he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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