If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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