it wasn't lemon gatorade
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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