You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
