come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
