just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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