I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
