She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
