I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
