I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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