its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
