I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Drake has all the answers
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
