I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
