So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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