He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
