I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
