i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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