I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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