i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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