There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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