What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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