i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
my poor anus
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
