He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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