thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
