Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Randomize
