I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
