man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Is it penis luge time yet?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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