Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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