winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
