24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
