At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
