The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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