i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My pussy is not your playground.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
